Of Mirrors, Voyeurs, and Things that go Hump in the Night

So far as I remember, I’ve never written anything exactly like this special report before. Time for me to break my silence on something that has been haunting me since November 2015. This is a true story.

The apartment complex I live at has several owners. One general purpose manager on the property in an office, and a few new maintenance people doing a good job now. None of the owners live here. The owner of the building I live in lives in Denver but has a sister living here in Norman. He visits her about once per month and does some of the maintenance work himself when here. A good man with an excellent work ethic. I can respect people who get out and work with their employees instead of just giving orders from behind a desk somewhere. The owners make use of real estate agents and agencies to keep the apartments complex filled with tenants. One of them is a woman who is also one of the leaders of “Church in the Park” helping homeless people to acquire affordable housing. The place I lived at for 7 years since May 2008 was sold and torn down. I had trouble finding an affordable place, then on Social Security Disability. I became briefly homeless. The church lady, also in real estate, saved my life, helping me to get the place I’ve lived at since November 2015. My health was so bad that if I had been homeless one more night I might have died. I had some help from the local Salvation Army, and an organization and day shelter known as Food and Shelter for Friends. Rent is paid to the real estate agents and agencies, so that lady became my landlady. Since November 2015, she has been like a sister to me. I decided today to make this report to her as being like the kind of story I’d tell to my real sister if she were still alive, instead of officially as my landlady. I’ve otherwise kept her well informed, but I’ve not told her everything about what has been happening here. Further, I’ve finally decided to write about it and post it here.

This special report is not urgent to read. A bit long. When convenient for you. My concern is not the time it takes to read it – I do respect your time, but is concern for your reaction. You might find it disgusting. Please don’t hold it against me, even though it is disgusting. On the other hand, some people reading this might fall on the floor laughing, and in odd way some of it is kinda funny. Women are more likely to dislike it, and men are more likely to laugh about it. Best to read this carefully, so there will be no misunderstandings.

The one thing that has irritated me the most I’ve never reported – never told anyone about it, because it is so bizarre it would be understandable for people not to believe it, and reporting it would make me sound crazy, paranoid, and would damage my credibility for reporting the things that people do need to know.

When I moved in, Craig (owner) and Tracy (maintenance) and I worked on the bathroom switches for light and exhaust fan, finally replacing them.

Soon after that, when I’d walk into the bathroom it sounded like the exhaust fan coming on, as if my footsteps vibration floor to wall somehow caused a short in the switch to cause it to come on. My exhaust fan runs quiet and smooth. I soon realized it is not my exhaust fan I was hearing. I wasn’t sure at first if it was the exhaust fan of 28B, or 26C, or of the apartment on the other side to the north. [I live in a second level 1-bedroom apartment of a 2-level apartment building with 12 apartments on each side, north and south. Mine faces south.] As time passed, I realized I could hear and tell the difference between exhaust fans coming on in 28B, 26C, and 21C – the one on the other side of my bathroom mirror [apartment facing north].

21C might be the apartment the orange cat has visited me from – I mentioned in a previous email, from whichever balcony over the roof to my balcony. Very friendly cat. If my French doors are open, the cat would come in and go to sleep next to me on the couch when I’d be watching TV. A young man, with his wife and kids came looking for that cat one night. The cat was on the balcony. He wanted me to let him in to get it, but I wasn’t dressed and was very ill that night so I didn’t answer. I heard him say he thinks no one lives in 28D now. His wife said the cat can come back over the roof when it wants to. Anyway, I don’t know if they came from 21C or one of the others. Also, I don’t know which 2nd level apartment Frank and Deb are coming from to move to 28B under my 28D. Would be real funny (not really) if they are moving from 21C. I do know they have a dog.

I have enough control over my anger that I would never allow it to harm anyone or to cause me to damage property. Knowing the consequences is enough to stop me. Even so, I can’t stop my anger from harming me – it is one of the triggers of my stomach ulcers, but not the cause which is genetic in my case. The mirror on the bathroom wall can’t easily be removed, and doing so could damage the mirror, frame, and wall. Even so, one night I became so angry I almost decided to break it with a hammer just to see what is on the other side. Then I stopped myself after cursing at it and going back into the living room to watch TV.

HUNDREDS OF TIMES, I walked into the bathroom, turned on the light switch, and paused there looking at the mirror. The moment I’d turn to my left to walk into the separate area of the tub and toilet, the exhaust fan in the bathroom of 21C would come on. At least 99% of the times I’ve used the toilet in my 28D the exhaust fan in 21C comes on. Far beyond coincidence. No exaggeration.

How can someone on the other side know? My footsteps? The sound of my light switch being turned on? Or can someone see me through the mirror? But that’s crazy – more so them then me. For it to happen consistently 99% of the time, someone would have to be paying attention that much. But why?

One time I sneaked in there on hands and knees without turning on the light, to then use the toilet. As I was urinating, I believe I heard a woman on the other side began to curse about it. Most recently, I believe I heard a man on the other side shout at me to learn how to use the toilet correctly so that the sound of me urinating does not upset his wife.

Then I knew. Then I remembered a long ago girlfriend – when I’d be visiting at her apartment and need to use the bathroom, she would demand I turn on the water at the sink in there so she could not hear me urinating. I learned then, and more so since then over the many years, how much most women hate the sound of a man urinating into toilet water. There is the old complaint about men leaving up the toilet seat, but this they hate more than that. Another girlfriend told me to try to make the stream hit the inside of the toilet above the water line so she can’t hear the sound of it hitting the water.

That’s it. The woman on the other side in 21C hates it so much she has been turning on the exhaust fan in her apartment so she can’t hear me urinating. She hates it so much she has found a way to know when I’m headed into the toilet area of the bathroom to turn on her exhaust fan to block the sound. From my side of the issue, the problem is how she consistently knows I’m about to do that. A few times I didn’t need to use the toilet and faked her out. Turning back toward the mirror and cursing at whoever might be on the other side watching or just listening. My bathroom staked out by someone who has gone mentally over the edge paranoid about the sound of men urinating. Then there’s the mental impact on me – wondering how anyone could know, causing me to become concerned about the possibility of the mirror – someone watching from the other side. Also, the fan over there does not stay on while I’m using the bath/shower. It has never come on when I’m just using the sink in front of the mirror. Only when I turn to walk into the bath and toilet area. Also consistently, her exhaust fan goes off the moment I flush my toilet.

The walls are not insulated enough to prevent some sounds from getting through to neighboring apartments. If I’m right about all of this, then she will have that problem wherever she lives – with whoever she lives with and with neighbors if she can hear them. The situation isn’t bad enough to cause me to move to another apartment. I have made some effort to not urinate so loud as to anger women in China, but even those efforts have not been enough to cause the neighbor on this side of the planet to stop using the sound of the ceiling fan to black the sound of me urinating.

I do not believe I’m mistaken about it being the exhaust fan in 21C. If 21C is not it, then I don’t know where the sound of it and people shouting and cursing is coming from. With some humor I’ve considered calling Ghostbusters to report hearing a female ghost complain about the sound of me urinating. However, that alone might be cause to get me locked up for life in a mental hospital over in the Twilight Zone. Having set that aside…

The exhaust fan in 28B below my apartment has been so loud and shakes so hard causing vibration in my bathroom floor that I can’t sit on my own toilet when it is on without getting a butt massage. I have complained about that, but past maintenance people have never done anything to fix it. However, it might be fixed now. I asked Manual to fix it and I believe he did so or replaced it for the new tenants moving in there this weekend. Again to note, it would really be bizarre if the couple moving in are the couple from 21C. I only know a couple from the other side is moving in down there, having wanted a ground floor apartment for a long time, but I’ve not known which apartment they are coming from – should be this weekend of June 24-25.

The exhaust fan in 26C also makes its own unique sound. Further, When it came on I heard a young Hispanic man in there talking on his cell phone to whoever just pulled up in a truck outside to pick him up. So that helped me to determine that exhaust fan is in 26C.

One more thing. 26C has been a problem I’ve never before complained about – not as specifically as I’m about to report here.

The woman living in 26C appears to be about my age and on disability or retirement, and she has not always lived alone. She had a boyfriend living with her when I moved in to 28D during November 2015. She had a mental breakdown, and actually falling down on the sidewalk causing neighbors to call 911. Then the boyfriend arrived and she told him to move out. He did.

I only talked to her one time, and that was when there was a fire in an apartment of another building to the south here. Neighbors gathered outside to watch. She remarked about it being the first major fire here so far as she knows since she moved in whenever that was. Then as she physically had the shakes as if from being nervous, she rambled on incoherently about the history of crimes at this apartments complex including rapes and stabbings. A month later, she became the victim of a crime. The rumored story is two black males broke into her apartment and took all of her prescription drugs, but did not harm her. Two weeks later one came back to to return some of the drugs he could not sell to others and had become worried she really needed to get them back. He offered her a deal. Free pain meds – the kind most doctors fear prescribing now for addiction and deaths from overdose plus prosecution by the Justice Department and lawsuits by various individuals. So he would supply her with pain relief in return for her making the bedroom available like a motel room to various travelers. She agreed. Most of the guests turned out to be Hispanic males in trucks with equipment in back for groundskeeping. Possibly in this country illegally. Perhaps the source of the drugs provided by the black male.

The bedroom used by the guests is on the other side of the wall of my bedroom. Problems included loud talking, TV too loud, or radio music too loud part of the night. All would arrive just before midnight, and all would depart just before sunrise. So all were only there each night for 6 to 8 hours, usually Sunday night through Friday morning – no weekend guests. While the guests were using her bedroom, I believe she slept on the couch in her living room. She never slept with any of the guests so far as I know from the rumors.

I ended up moving my bed into my living room and arranging it like a studio apartment, planning to use the bedroom for a different purpose like maybe a home office space in the future. One particular incident repeated several nights in a row caused me to become so disgusted to never want to sleep in my own bedroom again. Two males in the bedroom of 26C on the other side of my wall having sex with each other, being extremely loud and obnoxious while doing so. I’ve been open-minded about gays, but hearing two of them go at it like that I found to be extremely revolting.

As much as the woman in 21C hates the sound of men urinating, I hate the sound of men having sex with each other. Actually, I dislike the sound of anyone having sex with each other – I mean being so loud and obnoxious – especially those who do so deliberately to disturb anyone who can hear them. I’m liberal-minded in some ways, but I’m not a fan of hard-core porn, people having sex. Nude art, soft core porn does not offend me. I consider women in lingerie and swimsuits to be more interesting than nudes because of how it frames them – adding to personality perception. I used to collect and sell World War II and 1950’s calendar and pinup art and of famous models and female celebrities, especially those involving humor and a funny caption, as a hobby on the side back during the 1980’s, usually at flea markets.

Anyway, I never complained about that incident of the two gay males as guests one week in 26C, causing me to change how I live in 28D.

I have a good deal here. I don’t like moving. So it would take something significant to cause me to move. I’ll never violate any rules or laws or do anything to cause management to ask me to move or to evict me.

The former neighbor in 28B below my apartment is a friend of homeless people in the area – letting them use the toilet and shower, and to let a few sleep on the floor at night. A few stored personal belongings there. He is also a meth addict with on average 12 visitors nearly every night using drugs with him, or selling to him or buying from him. 28B became a crash pad. My complaint was not so much the homeless because I’ve been homeless and know what it is like. And although I’d not use illegal drugs, this war on pain relief drugs is hurting people who really need it – cutting them off – forcing them to turn to underground sources. I’ve been in so much pain – torturous pain – for long periods of time during the past year, I’m beginning to sympathize with those who become so desperate as to do anything to stop the pain. My objection to the 28B crash pad has been visitors driving up in cars or pickup trucks or minivans, some of them obviously living out of their vehicles, to then dump massive amounts of trash and food garbage onto the parking lot instead of using a nearby trash dumpster. Gotta draw a line somewhere to keep the apartments complex inhabitable. It had to be stopped. There is no acceptable excuse for littering.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I’ll try to not ramble on in the future as much as I have in the past and as much as I have with this special report. I hope none of my readers are offended by any of this. If any of you die from laughing, then please do not come back as a zombie.

By the way, the AMC TV series The Walking Dead might be doing some filming here in Oklahoma for the season starting in October 2017. Normally they do all or most of their filming near Atlanta in Georgia. A really cool-looking Jeep with “The Walking Dead” on it has been parked here, one of the crew and scouts temporarily staying at this apartments complex. God have mercy. My landlady is renting apartments to zombies now. Suddenly homelessness has a whole new look, people wandering around here – The Walking Dead.

Reported by Jim Lantern in Norman Oklahoma USA


Friday afternoon – 23 June 2017

Categories: Special Reports | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Of Mirrors, Voyeurs, and Things that go Hump in the Night

  1. That was a really sweet story! I laughed. Oh, the joys of communal living. I remember them well. I live in what used to be a rural, working class neighborhood. Ai yi yi, everything moved in, addiction, meth and heroin,homelessness, domestic violence, you name it. Trying to find that fine line between patience and just tossing people out the window is not so easy. 🙂



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