Achoo by Jim Lantern
Thursday 29 September 2016
Achoo! Sneezing across Internet
“Achoo – Used for representing the sound that you make when you sneeze.”
Feel free to blow your brains out with more of that ilk at “Written representations of sounds” website. Just what Doctor WordPress ordered for us writers.
It’s not just a writing subject. It’s not just a health issue. I’m writing this for another reason from the realm of achoos in the Twilight Zone and Outer Limits.
Climate here in Norman Oklahoma fluctuating between spring-like weather and fall-like weather as what was summer looses the battle with coming winter. It has been like a second spring. Those small trees that usually only get the white flowers on them for about 4 to 5 weeks each year here late March through April, briefly appeared for a week during this September. Tree pollen hurts me more than any other allergy. Ragweed has been high too.
So I had a sneezing fit one morning not too long ago when I opened the doors and windows to let in “fresh” air.
I sneezed so loud it was heard in another state! No, I’m not joking. This time I’m serious. My sneezing was heard in at least one other state. Probably California. Mountain View, to be more exact. Google headquarters.
I already had cause to put a tiny square of paper and tape over the camera on my HP Notebook. I should have done the same to the microphone. I have now. Going into settings to turn them off apparently does not stop someone elsewhere from turning them on – to listen in via microphone or to watch via camera. Violations of privacy and security. I’ve been using the Chrome Browser, better than Microsoft Edge. I wish this HP Notebook had Chrome Operating System too, because I really hate those Windows Updates turning SNAFU into FUBAR.
I doubt a live person was listening in. More likely a super computer programmed to “listen” for certain sounds and words, flag them, then pass the data on to Google and advertisers for catering ads to my interests, needs, wants, and of course now my achoos.
Sneezing fit I had. Then my HP Notebook screen briefly blacked out. The sneeze wasn’t that bad! When it came back on . . . new ads appeared in gmail and visited websites – all offering specials on allergy medicine, cold medicine, and Puffs Facial Tissue for when I’m blowing my brains out so that I’ll not become a Walking Dead zombie.
Good intentions, Google and advertisers, helping me to find out about deals on needed or wanted items. How roads to hell are paved. I prefer the privacy. I prefer the security. Without privacy, there is no security.
Achoo. I mean, amen – so be it.
+ + +