The Night the Earth Stood Still: Clinton-Trump Debate

LANTERN TIMEGLASS JOURNAL

Monday 26 September 2016

Political Humor by Jim Lantern

Clinton-Trump Debate

THE NIGHT THE EARTH STOOD STILL

3 Aliens watching TV

Alien 1: “I whacked the side of the TV just like you suggested.”

Alien 2: “Well?”

Alien 1: “Same thing on all major networks.”

Alien 3: “What is it? Asteroid Armageddon? Zombie Apocalypse?”

Alien 1: “No, it’s Election 2016 First Presidential Debate.”

Alien 4: “Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump.”

Alien 3: “OH MY STARS!!! Better move the starship back a few hundred parsecs. Raise shields! You know what happens when those two open their mouths.”

Alien 4: “Agreed. Ancient interstellar mariner warning about Earth on galactic maps is accurate. THERE BE MONSTERS!”

Alien 2: “What happened to our guy?”

Alien 1: “No show.”

Alien 4: “They wouldn’t let Gary Johnson participate. Not high enough in polls.”

Alien 2: “We spent all those years positioning one of our own. Now he can’t be in the debate?”

Alien 3: “Creating Libertarians in our labs to bring balance to the human world isn’t working yet.”

Alien 1: “So what do we do in the meantime, whack the side of the TV again?”

Alien 4: “Better question, which of the two in the debate are friendlier to aliens?”

Alien 2: “Trump wants to build a wall around the planet, similar to a Dyson Sphere to keep out illegal aliens, and banish all those already there with a deportation force.”

Alien 3: “Clinton wants to grant citizenship to our relatives living at Area 51, and give them the right to vote.”

Alien 1: “Another Clinton? You know what happened with the first.”

Alien 4: “Right. I remember. Interstellar incident. Bill Clinton had more space babes than James T. Kirk!”

Alien 1: “He married one.”

Alien 4: “Hillary is one of us? I didn’t know.”

Alien 1: “Big government secret. We found out when we hacked her interstellar emails.”

Alien 3: “Okay. Might as well get comfortable in front of the TV. The debate is about to begin…”

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