Jim Lantern
Political Humor
Wednesday 31 August 2016
This just in 10:00am ET…
* * * BREAKING NEWS * * *
Interstellar News Network
U.S. Republican Presidential Candidate
Donald Trump
Abducted by Space Aliens,
who then dropped him off in Mexico!
News of Trump voluntarily going to Mexico to meet with President Enrique Peña Nieto, hours before Trump’s planned immigration speech – scheduled for 9:00pm ET Wednesday 31 August 2016 – is just a cover story. The F.B.I. has confirmed The Truth Is Out There!
As result, a new announcement from Trump: “We will build a wall around Earth (similar to a Dyson Sphere) to keep out undesirable space aliens and end illegal space aliens immigration. I will deport the aliens currently living at Area 51 in Nevada who are not legally on Earth.
Remember, I warned you about aliens posing as humans and faking their birth certificates!
As for the other space aliens, there may be a path to citizenship if they agree to vote for me. Earth’s Deportation Force will become worldwide. I will put a stop to all alien abductions within an hour of becoming President of the United States of America on 20 January 2017.”
Lantern Timeglass Journal 