Daily Archives: 2015/01/18

How in hell am I expected to operate a computer with a torn bag of Cheese Puffs?!

How in hell am I expected to operate a computer with a torn bag of Cheese Puffs?!

It’s unacceptable.

I was extra careful this time. Really, I was. Slow. Easy. Not too much pressure. Gripped the bag at the top and pulled the top open. Slowly. Very slowly. The opening became larger. It got within an inch of the ends.

Then it tore down vertically, as usual.

This time, first time ever, I closely examined the ends of the top. Used a magnifying glass. Detective work.

I tried to pull apart the ends. Could not do so. I discovered one inch at each end of the sealed tops are sealed in such a way to prevent them from opening all the way to the end. Very well hidden. Pressed tighter, more glue, whatever.

It’s deliberate. The makers of the bag want the bag to rip down the sides. “Why?” you dare ask. Two possibilities…

One. So the bag can’t be closed back up – folded shut – and a plastic clip used to keep it as sealed as possible. I guess they figure if you can’t close the bag – if it is ripped apart – then you’ll use up the product faster and buy more sooner. So I have a large plastic bowl with a lid I use for Cheese Puffs. Or Cheese Curls. The bag problem is the same for both. Another for Corn Chips (like Fritos) for same ripping bag problem. Don’t blame my claws…


Two. The bags are made in China. It’s a Chinese Communist plot against Americans. When their head-up-ass hackers can’t get the job done, they can rely on torn bags of Cheese Puffs. They know damn well American computers can’t operate with torn bags of Cheese Puffs. It’s a fact – 99% of keyboard operator malfunctions are caused by torn bags of Cheese Puffs. Kinda like that…


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Categories: Business, Computers, Humor, Internet, Product Reviews | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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